Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
