Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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