Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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