There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
