his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm just crazy horny about you
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
