i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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