i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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