I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize