Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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