hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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