i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
