Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize