Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
