DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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