Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
