thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
