i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize