Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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