I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
