Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Alive.
So much puke
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
