obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
