u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize