? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize