She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
