Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
