Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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