Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
