He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
