I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
