Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
