i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
