just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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