Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
