Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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