Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
