Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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