If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize