yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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