Nicole vs. Life
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
