i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
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