I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
