He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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