honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
