the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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