she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
