I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
