Duck Duck Cougar?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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