Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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