I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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