time to smoke my breakfast
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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