Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
