I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
