Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
