I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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