Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
