There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
