I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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