careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
