I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
