This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
