i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
