I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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