He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
